We can’t deny love connections and relationships are beautiful especially when things are going easily. However, when things start to get a little bit more difficult, poor communication techniques appear and may cause more damage.
Don’t worry though, we all have been here. You’re not alone. Maybe communication is not your strong point, but it can surely be developed. This is why I bring to you today these 10 signs of miscommunication you might be having in your relationship and some tips to help you overcome them.
Start increasing your communication skills and enrich your relationship in the most careful, inspiring ways. But remember, as you read them, try to keep any judgment of yourself or your accomplice aside. It is not time to point fingers at anyone. The objective is to bring your mindfulness and communication awareness up in a positive manner, for both of you.
10. Blaming And Shaming
When one of the two accomplices gets into the shame-blame habit, communication and thus the relationship will go downhill. Believe me. Maybe you could try focusing on the nature of the difficulty itself rather than attacking the person who made the mistake.
9. Somebody Has To Win
If you or your partner have the necessity to always be right, well let me tell you it’s time to sit down and work on that. Healthy communication focuses on a collaborative mutual benefit attitude. A win-win scenario. This is possible by respecting the two people’s viewpoints.
We know we are all busy. But come one, sitting down and paying attention to a short conversation with your partner is as important as any other task you might have to do. Take into consideration that multitasking might lead to misunderstandings. Since it sends the wrong message to the other person: whatever else I need or needs to be done is a higher priority than giving you my full focus.
7. Not Respecting Disagreements
Respect, like communication, is a main pillar of any healthy relationship. This is why we must be alert if any distinction in opinions or sentiments rapidly grows into a fight. Fights always make things worse. You need to be in a safe space where your opinion, whether it concords or not with your partner’s, shouldn’t have to become a conflict.
6. Be Aware Of The Passive-Aggressive Attitudes
Angry or passive-aggressive tactics or behaviors should never become usual. For when they exist, healthy and positive communication is a chimera. Mockery, sarcasm, or jokes are red flags as they are passive-aggressive strategies that definitely get in the way of solid and healthy communication.
5. Criticism Replaces Feedback
Positive feedback should never be replaced with criticism. After all, nobody really likes being criticized. The difference between criticism and positive feedback is offering positive and healthy input rather than negative complaints.
4. Eye Contact And Body Language
Non-verbal communication says a lot. It’s not difficult to fall back into negative behavior patterns during discussions with an accomplice. From eye-rolling and turning away to collapsing your arms or leaving during a discussion, negative non-verbal communication can flag disregard, disturbance, outrage, and pretentiousness. Healthy communicators will make eye contact and focus on the speaker.
Interrupting should never be the norm. It sends the wrong message to your partner: what they are saying is irrelevant or wrong. Valid, undivided attention includes easing back down to really hear what someone else is saying without contributing an assessment. Indeed, interrupters are for the most part extremely helpless audience members; as opposed to tuning in, their own inward discourse is confirmation that their consideration is self-centered instead of other-centered.
2. Technology Gets In The Way
While communicating with your partner, cellphones, PCs, and TV should be turned off. If you find yourself retreating to technology (or any other activity) instead of having a conversation with your loved one, then let me tell you, your communication -as your relationship- might be languishing. Intimate cozy communication is key to a healthy relationship.
1. Unsolved Issues And Resentment
Invite your partner -and you do it as well- to talk about the issues that bother you as soon as it happens. Reserving what bothers you might end up in conflict. And what happens then? They are used as weapons in later arguments. And believe me, not talking about them will not make them disappear. Although it is true minor issues do blur whenever left unaddressed, many are reused issues that are rarely settled. So talk about them.One